Reflections of 2017 – part 2

Phuket Thailand in April

The James Bond island, famous as the backdrop from The Man With The Golden Gun, the face-off between Roger Moore's 007 with Scaramanga.

Asians and Westerners all posing, hands clasped together with index fingers pointing, loaded weapons ready for the photo opportunity. Seeing the 2 Asian ladies posing, so different in style and yet both so equally mesmerising…in a car-crash / "WTF" way!

The posture of the Chinese tourists in the waiting room....don't worry if it’s a public area, just relax, treat it like home. Belch, yawn, snort the phlegm in and eat it. It’s all perfectly acceptable. Oh, feeling a bit warm? Cool off by raising your t-shirt over your belly. That’s better…

On the return the air stewardess…. "boarding paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....". I think I was sitting by the time she ended that word (more on the local use of English at a later blog-date).

Tourists are weird. So interested in visiting other nations, seeing what must be seen, getting themselves as many photos as possible, and yet often so unthinking of local cultures, and what is appropriate.

The Chinese tourists are probably the worst we have seen overall, but not just from our trip to Thailand. When we went to buy a new TV in Mustafa's, Chinese tourists would loudly walk in front of everyone, no regard for people other than themselves, literally as if no-one else exists. It has just never happened, in any society where I have spent any time, that while shopping, looking at shampoo, with barely 30cm between you and the shelves, that someone comes and stands in front of you. And yet it happened to Roby. All it needed was a Chinese tourist who had an interest in looking at the same goods.

But in Phuket, it was the Russian tourists who stood out as the biggest wankers; no modesty on display, the women in bikinis, the men topless in shorts, all of them bright red from too much sun.

Still, the best tourist moment….(drum roll)…. goes to China and the Chinese gentleman pretending to take a photo of the rock formation, whereas when I passed behind him saw he was actually taking close-up photos of Russian cleavage.

Maybe such “materials” are not readily obtained from the internet in China? Or can only be secured at personal risk?

Just think, he might literally explode with excitement if he went to the Jeju Island sex park.

Tokyo in June

A trip by train to Kamakura, and walking on the beach. A sunny day, with children playing in the water, kites being flown.

The Westerners soaking as much sun as possible, the Asians wrapped up in clothes, wide-brimmed hats, arm covers, for fear of tanning, or sitting in little tents safe from the rays of Vitamin D while enjoying their more compressed views of the sea.

Weddings and newly-weds posing in town, being photographed by their official photographers, friends, and visiting strangers ;)

Eating tonkatsu in our favourite tonkatsu restaurant in the world, Katsukura in Shibuya.

Trends 2017, the Ishibe-san retirement party, and ending the night in a karaoke bar. “Big in Japan” by Alphaville was my song of choice.

“Oh Sole Mio” was our duet – needless to say we didn’t choose the song, it appeared on screen and 2 microphones appeared as if by magic in our hands.

‘course we nailed it.  ;)

Reflections of 2017 – part 1

I recognise that I have reverted to type recently; talk a good game when it comes to blog posts, but unlike The Wife I often lack blogging inspiration, a clarity of what I want to say, and….energy. That most basic requirement that enables one to get off one’s arse and do something that needs doing or that you might want to do.

All of you who know me will of course recognise my preferred hobby of “doing as little as possible for as long as possible”.

The Wife calls me “loffio”, so I have christened my relaxing time as the process of “loffiaggio”.

Anyway, I digress, for despite my natural tendencies, as the new year lands upon us all, I must endeavour to be better at taking those little things, observations and feelings, and turning them into a more regular commentary worthy of my habitat.

Before that though…some thoughts and memories of 2017…

The Maldives in February
The beauty of the Indian Ocean and the archipelago, the blues and greens, the calm, the silence, the sense of isolation. Diving into the clear Indian Ocean from our water villa, drying off on our deck. The claustrophobia of Male, the volume of plastic and rubbish in the water around the capital, compared to the perfection of the resorts.


And the washroom cleaning lady in Changi airport whom I approached for directions to the nearest toilet…her squawked reply makes us laugh even now... "EEh??? Don knoooowwwww" and then she was gone, off to clean the next toilets. Should I have followed her? Might have looked odd.

Maldives is a definite on the visit list this year…we’ll be back, for one more visit…

South Korea in March

Jeju island, volcanic rock formations, like the Devils Causeway but slightly smaller?

Rocks and rock sculptures, and amazing trees, in Hallim Park and in Ssangyong caves.

The views from Seongsan Ilchulbon, the top of the stunning deceased volcano, a unesco world heritage site and rightly so.

The sex park. Models and sculptures of people...having sex....or of massive members and enormous clitorises being fingered. 

Best memory?

Eating octopus so fresh it still hadn't worked out it was dead. Seeing Roby’s face drain of all colour as the plate of octopus arrived, the plate moving as if full of worms. The sheer joy in CW’s face, clapping with excitement. At that precise moment, a dawning of the sheer authenticity of actually being in Asia. I laughed, knowing I would have to try it. I did. I also knew Roby would be too competitive not to do the same as a result. She did :)

Finally Vietnam!

A couple of weeks ago we decided to escape to Vietnam for a few days.

We really needed a break, it was best time of the year to visit Halong Bay and it was my birthday.
So off we went to the north of Vietnam for 6 days.

6 days is definitely too short for this amazing country, but we managed to get a flavour of this beautiful crazy place.
Hanoi is the busiest city we have seen so far.
By far.
The number of motorbikes around is mind blowing. And even more so is what it’s carried on each motorbike: people (from 1 to 4-5 including babies), animals (we have seen a cage full of hens), stuff (from massive number of balloons , Up-style, to wall mirrors).
They don’t necessarily stop at traffic lights, and definitely do not stop at zebra crossings.
Therefore, walking in Hanoi is an adventure. With pavements occupied by motorbikes for rent and street food ‘restaurants’, streets full of cars, bikes, motorbikes, pedestrians and sometimes animals, you pretty much walk in the middle of the street where motorbikes zig-zag around you.
Plus the constant honking, in a non-aggressive way though, just to let you know they are there and they are not stopping to let you pass.
Pure madness.
But a safe and organised madness, in a way.
Then another reason why this is one of the craziest places we have visited so far, is the street.
Life happens on the street. The cooking, the eating, the selling, the hair-cutting, the nail varnishing, the grooming, the dish washing, and even some personal washing.
It all happens on the street. Fascinating is an understatement.
We have to try it, so birthday dinner is cooked (by us) on a tiny table, sitting on a tiny chair on a pavement. Tom Yam soup, or something similar. Nice, cheap and heart-warming. No-one speaks English, so no-one offers us any drink, one more reason to hit the pub later.

And it’s festive. Every night. And not in a touristy way, but in a very local way, with music playing around the lake and LOADS of people dancing, strolling around, kids driving tiny motored cars and teenagers buying stuff at the night market.
A happy mess.

After not even two days in Hanoi, we went on a day trip to Nihn Bihn region, Tam Coc to be precise.

Where the limestones are on land and the rice fields surround them.

A blissfully green landscape we enjoyed on a bike, followed by a boat ride on the river (locals row with their feet!).

It’s finally time to relax and we leave the busy city to go on the bay. After hours on the road (single line and questionable safety) we arrive at Halong City (via a water puppet show and a visit to a massive souvenirs shop).
We took a boat to Ba Tu Long Bay, only to return after two nights.
The scenery is breath-taking, the noise is forgotten, phones don't connect, wifi is not available, we are isolated, and fully immersed in the most peaceful nature.
Kayaking, swimming, bbq on tiny beach and drinks on the boat are the activities for the day.

By the time I get used to being spoiled, it’s time to come back.
Sweet, sweet Vietnam! I am not done with you. I will see you very soon.

Little rant

Today I went back to the office after almost two weeks of absence. A few days holiday followed by a short trip to China meant I have not been at my desk for a little while.
So today I go back (reasonably) happy. Usual colleague (the one from 'mmmmmhhh sun, cancer… Hugh Jackman' comment) is there when I arrive and first thing he does is to point at my face, my skin that these days is worse than a flowering field.
How wonderful.
A male colleague in their 50’s commenting on my spots. All I needed to boost my confidence.
Thanks T. I love you too, and I love being back.


#thejoygivenbycaringcolleagues

#believeitornotheismybestmateintheoffice

#helpmennowbeforeiexplode